I am also nervous about labor and delivery. For those of you who have followed this blog for awhile you will probably recall that with Scarlett I had a natural, drug-free birth. It was painful, of course, but sooooo amazing. It was easy to be blinded by the pain in the moment, but looking back I really wouldn't have it any other way. The only difference this time around is that this time, I know what it will be like. I know how the pain feels. So there is that nervous anticipation of being in that kind of pain again. But there is also the excited anticipation of being able to do birth the way *I* want to, and to be able to be fully present during birth and after. Recovery was a breeze with Scarlett, and the way I see it, an easy recovery will be even more beneficial this time around. With Scarlett, I was able to sit around all day every day for 15 weeks and hold my newborn baby. I literally just held her all the time (and watched the entire seasons of Grey's Anatomy, first show to current). But this time? Yeah, that ain't happening. I will have Scarlett to take care of as well and she will be 2 years and 4 months old when the baby is born and believe me, she is a very busy, sassy, and lively 2 year old. Which is why an easy recovery will be ideal, because I am imagining that I will be very busy this maternity leave.
That is another thing that I am a little sad about. Like I just mentioned, Scarlett had my complete undivided attention when I was home with her. I literally only put her down when I had to go to the restroom or eat or cook. And sometimes when she napped I would put her down. But really, I held her when she slept most of the time too (except for at night). I was able to completely focus *on her*, and I know that this will not happen with baby #2 (or baby #3 or #4 God willing)... And it makes me a little sad to know that. To know that any additional babies we will have starting with this one will not get that same attention. BUT, at the same time, it makes me feel so blessed too. Since Scarlett was born I knew that I wanted her to be a big sister one day. And that dream is finally coming true. She is going to be the best big sister and I know that any sadness I might feel about not being able to give the new baby my undivided attention will be greatly overshadowed with the JOY I will feel when I see Scarlett and the baby together. The thing I am most excited about, after meeting the baby myself, is the moment when Scarlett sees her brother or sister for the first time. I will have my Kleenex and camera ready, you better believe that!
And speaking of the new baby, changing gears a little here, I had an ultrasound with my Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) Doctor this week. Jace and Scarlett came with me to the ultrasound and we were told the BEST news! The baby looks amazing. To quote the doctor, our baby is a "very generous size" and there are still zero signs of a CMV infection. Praise the Lord!!!! The MFM doctor said that unless my regular doctor has any concerns, he doesn't need to see my anymore. Which is a GOOD thing! So although I will miss the doctors and nurses at the Women's Pavilion, I am so glad that this pregnancy and our baby has been deemed "low risk", and therefore doesn't need to be monitored by a Specialist any longer. Now all we have to do is get to January and our beautiful baby boy or girl will be here! I cannot wait! :-)
PS - when Scarlett saw the baby moving around on the ultrasound monitor, y'all want to know what she said?? She said, and I quote, "ewww yucky". So even though we are excited about Scarlett meeting the baby, as of now, she isn't too impressed! ;-)