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It feels so good to trust in God. It also feels good that once you have made a decision to trust in your faith, to be almost instantly validated in that decision. On Monday I received a call from Dr. Newman. He wanted to go over a few more things with me that he had discussed with other Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) and Infectious Disease experts. Dr. Newman has really done so much for me and this pregnancy, that I hope he knows how thankful I am. He has reached out to these experts and has come to the same conclusion that my husband and I have, basically. 

Dr. Newman told me so many things, and I am going to try and cover all of those things as efficiently as I can. So one of the first things he told me was that the studies that have been done on CMV have been "small" or "under-powered" studies. When the medical world classifies a study as "under-powered", what they are basically saying is that the test group was not big and that *maybe* had the test been bigger, then the results would be different. And what the vast majority of experts have seen is that when a woman has a primary CMV infection during pregnancy and she undergoes the treatment available (which I have learned is called an immune globulin) that the results do not change the outcome of the pregnancy and they, in fact, increase the odds by five to seven times more likely that the woman will have pregnancy complications. Let me repeat that. The treatment available would make me five to seven times more likely to have pregnancy complications. No thank you!!!! Like I explained in my last blog, I could *never* live with myself if something negative happened to this pregnancy as a direct result of a choice that I made. So this is even more validation that my husband and I made the right decision. When I reiterated my reasons to Dr. Newman he said, and I quote, "well if it is any consolation, the vast majority of medical professionals would stand behind your decision". And you know what, IT IS. Not that I would change my mind if my doctor disagreed with me, but it is just an extra layer of "feel good". To know that I came to this decision without any of the science behind it just really, truly validates what I have felt all along. And that is that the Holy Spirit has been guiding me. And maybe that will sound weird to those of you who aren't religious. But let me tell you guys something. I am a worrier. Big time. I worry about any and everything. But for some crazy reason, I have felt this insane sense of calm with all of the obstacles that have faced me and this pregnancy when it comes to CMV. Now, this is not to say that something still cannot go wrong. I have explained in previous blog entries that things like developmental delays, blindness and deafness are all things that an ultrasound cannot detect, and those are all side effects of a Congenital CMV infection. But you guys, I am okay. So far, everything is fine with our baby. 

Yesterday I had another ultrasound with a different MFM Doctor, Dr. St. Amant, (so a new set of eyes which I liked). And he confirmed the same thing that Dr. Newman saw a few weeks ago at my last ultrasound. And that is, that our baby is looking good! Great growth (yesterday I was 20 weeks 5 days and the baby was measuring 21 weeks 4 days). Which is just beautiful. Good sized head, beautiful upper lip (no cleft palate), good looking heart and brain and no calcification of the brain or liver. So basically, what appears to be a perfectly healthy baby. And that is all I could ever ask for in this entire world. Dr. St, Amant said that this ultrasound is very promising and that he wants to see me back in 6 weeks and that will really be the tell-all. He said that we can feel good after yesterday's ultrasound, but that in 6 weeks, if everything still looks good then we can take a HUGE sigh of relief. He believes that if anything was "wrong", that we would more than likely be seeing it now, and that we would certainly see it in 6 weeks. He is not making any promises, mind you. He is just an eternal optimist. Which I like. He also said that he would say some prayers for us and the baby, which I LOVE. I feel so blessed to have been given these amazing professionals, no, experts during this pregnancy. They have made me feel like I am in the best possible hands here on earth and I have no doubt that God sent me to these very individuals. So thank you, Jesus for everything. Thank you for this pregnancy. Thank you for these doctors and the gifts you have blessed them with. Thank you for being with me every step of this pregnancy so far. I have felt You, and for that, I am so thankful. And for that, I have no doubt that this baby is so incredibly special and will be such a blessing to our family and to this world. And thank you to everyone who reads my blogs and prays for me and my family, and thank you to everyone who sends me words of encouragement. I honestly feel that every single one of you who reach out to me are God-sent. Whether or not you all know it, you are. So thank you! :-)


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