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On Friday I received the results from my blood work, and it turns out that this is a primary infection. Meaning that this is the first time I have come in contact with the virus. Which is the scenario we were hoping to avoid. So where do we go from here? There are only two choices, really.

The first choice would be to get an amniocentesis (amnio). Which is where a needle is inserted into the amniotic fluid, and then they would test to see whether or not the virus has been passed to the baby. Because remember, just because I have the virus doesn't necessarily mean it was passed to the baby. With a primary infection the chances are much, much higher that the baby would be infected, but it is not 100% certain. If the amnio came back that the baby was infected, there isn't much we can do except monitor the baby via lots of ultrasounds. If the amnio came back that the baby was not infected, there are treatments that I could use that would help prevent the virus from spreading to the baby. These treatments are purely experimental. Studies have shown the treatments to be positive, but they are not at all conclusive. And the treatments themselves come with their own set of risks and side effects.

So armed with all of that information I have decided on the second choice, which would be to NOT have an amino done. I am fully informed of what that *could* mean for the baby and for me. But I will explain to you all my decision in the same exact way that I explained it to my Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctor (MFM). An amnio comes with the risk of a miscarriage. The risk of a miscarriage from an amnio varies from 1 in 400 to 1 in 200. Not the best odds at all, in my opinion. And quite frankly, I am not interested in that risk. Quite frankly, I would rather have a live baby than a dead baby due to something that was completely elective. I could not live with myself if I miscarried due to a choice that I made. I understand that my baby could be born deaf, or blind, or have some neurological issues OR, they could be born completely FINE. I also understand that an amnio would do nothing to prevent those things especially if the baby has already been infected. But, what if the baby has NOT been infected? That is something my MFM Doctor is still researching. He is researching if I can get the treatments without an amnio. He is also researching what the side effects are for this treatment and if the treatments would even be beneficial for someone as far along as I am in a pregnancy. The results from my blood work are leading all of my specialists to believe that I was first exposed to the virus somewhere between Week 7-10 of my pregnancy. I am now 20 weeks. Which means if the virus did get passed on to the baby, the baby has been with the virus for 10-13 weeks now and so far, we haven't seen anything on an ultrasound that is alarming. And what I disagree with is the fact that in order to receive treatments, there has to be a positive amnio. That is BS. I think a woman who tests positive for a *primary* CMV infection should automatically be a candidate for any treatments. Why should I have to risk a miscarriage just to get treatments? Shouldn't they just err on the side of caution and give treatment to me?? That is another thing my MFM Doctor is researching. So we shall see. I have an appointment with my MFM Doctor next week for another ultrasound and he is hoping to have more answers for me.

But no matter what, I will more than likely not elect for any treatments that are experimental or inconclusive. I just can't under good conscience do something that I have no idea what the outcome could or would be. I would rather go with the good news that everything on my ultrasound a few weeks ago looked good and there were no indications that anything was awry. Of course, I do not want our baby to be born deaf or blind. Nor do I want our baby to have any neurological issues. But so far, no one has shown me anything that can prevent that from happening without risking a miscarriage first. So until they do, I am sticking to my plan of trusting God and having faith that our baby will born healthy and in accordance with God's will and plan for our baby's life. Amen.


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